While your partner may have all the best intentions, they may be sabotaging your attempt at a healthy lifestyle change.
It’s something we see all the time as nutrition coaches. One person decides they want to adopt a healthier lifestyle and while their partner says they fully support it, they are the one pouring a cocktail on a Friday night saying something like “It’s Friday. Live a little.”
Let us preface this by saying in most cases, your partner isn’t intentionally trying to sabotage you. They likely are used to spending time with you a certain way — going out to dinner, have an after-work drink, snacking on junk food while catching up on reality TV — so when you try to step away from doing those things, it could cause a riff that actually has little to do with what you choose to eat or drink.
Here’s how to navigate that:
Well, Have a Discussion For Starters
You need to talk to your partner about three important things:
⚡What your goals are
⚡Why you have them
⚡What the plan is to progress towards them
Seems obvious, right? You’d be surprised how often this is overlooked. Your partner may think you just want to “lose weight” and while that may be true, they are missing a major part of the story that will help them buy in on your journey.
Yes, the goal on the surface may be to lose weight, but why do you want that? Maybe you used to love running but now excess body fat makes it difficult and unenjoyable and you want to get back to doing your favorite past time. Maybe you feel less confident than you did when you were at a healthier weight. Maybe your health markers aren’t looking so hot anymore.
Whatever the case, you need to tell you partner what your “why” is and what you need from them in order to succeed. Any good partner is going to want you to be the healthiest, most confident, and happiest version of you (and if not, it might be time to reassess your partner. Kidding…kinda).
Get Them On Board
It’s likely your partner has some goals of their own. While they may not be motivated enough to hire a coach, you could just be the thing they needed to light a fire under their butt!
Talk to them about what their goals are. Maybe it’s something as simple as to drink more water, get more sleep, eat more veggies, cook more, not eat like a complete a**hole on the weekends, cut down on alcohol consumption, get in more workouts, get in more movement, etc. The possibilities are endless and it’s rare that someone doing great on all of the above. So, make a plan to focus on some of those things together, or at least hold each other accountable to the habits you both want to adopt.
Last, be a resource for them! Take what you learn from your own journey and help your partner build on their own good habits. Our whole philosophy when working with our clients is based on education. After all, education drives compliance. So, if you have questions on behalf of you or your partner, use your coach as a resource to help spread the education.
Maybe make a plan to focus on some of those things together.
Define Your Non-Negotiables, With Your Partner AND Your Coach
We build non-negotiables into our client’s plans all the time. We’re not interested in writing the “perfect” protocol for you, but instead on writing the most sustainable and realistic one. One that will allow you to progress but still enjoy your life. So, it’s important to talk to your partner about what the non-negotiables in your relationship are. Maybe you both have crazy busy lives but alway do date night on Friday to catch up and reconnect. Maybe the whole family hits up grandma’s house for Sunday dinner and ice cream afterwards. If it would mean a lot to your parter to have that tradition keep going, then talk to your coach and we will make it part of the plan. Simple as that.
Redefine The Way You Spend Time Together
More often than not, the way we spend time together can revolve around food and drinks. And that’s fine! But if eating ice cream on the couch while watching Netflix is the ONLY way you guys spend time together, it’s time to redefine some of that. We’re not saying to rid of all of that, but switch it up for some healthier past times. Maybe go for after-dinner walks in the summer, hit up a hiking trail on Sunday mornings, get in a workout together on Saturdays, etc. This is a great way to push each other to try new things and to redefine the way you spend time together in a way that will have you both feeling awesome after.
Have questions or want to work one-on-one with a coach? Schedule a free introductory call here.